literature

A tale of Lynk

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The tale of Lynk


Once upon a time there was a young lad by the name of Lynk. He led a normal life until he came upon the age of 12, where on a day much like every other one, something strange happened. A stream of light shone upon the boy, and a booming voice rained from the heavens. “Lynk, it is time for you to fulfill your role in the universe and head towards the land of Hirule. Take this symbol as proof of you being the chosen one.” And as this mysterious voice shouted orders at the lad, three triangular shaped relics fell from the sky. Lynk, not exactly the brightest boy in the land, stood there unaware of the relics that were falling right above his head. The three relics landed with a sharp thud upon the boy’s head, causing him to become unconscious for several hours.
After three hours, the boy awoke again, just in time to hear the voice taunt him. “Geeze, I thought the chosen one would have at least done a back flip or something and catch the relics… instead he gets smacked in the face and falls unconscious… Whatever. Ah! You’re awake! Okay, now head over to Hirule with those relics and ask King W. Bush to send you on your quest.” The boy simply nodded, and he started walking in the direction of the kingdom of Hirule, which happened to be 300 meters from where he stood.
The journey took around 30 minutes, not exactly an epic journey, but that was to come later. He walked through the gate of castle, and he found himself in a world much unlike his own. Stores and restaurants filled the streets, busy people rushing from place to place, and tons of distractions for a young boy to indulge himself in. He ventured in, and after 3 hours, he realized he was on a quest, so he stopped and headed towards the royal throne room.
He walked up the 300 step staircase, past the 300 doors, around the 3 gardens, and after an additional 30 minutes, he finally reached the royal throne room. When the guards saw him, they immediately demanded the reason for the child’s presence in the royal throne room. Lynk stood there blankly and the guards grew angrier by the second. 30 seconds later, Lynk realized he was being spoken to, and he took out the three relics. When the guards saw this, they simply grinned and sent the child towards King W. Bush, snickering along the way.
King W. Bush was a man in his years, with large ears and was the center of blame of every single thing that was wrong with the kingdom. When he saw Lynk, he knew exactly why the boy had come. He spoke a blatant voice “I see you have finally come, Chosen one. Now, what is your name?” Lynk stood there, thinking exactly how to put this into words. You see, the boy couldn’t speak English, or any language for that matter. He could only speak things such as grunts, screams, battle shouts, and various other things. He decided to use one of his battle shouts.
“HYAH!” shouted Lynk. King W. Bush replied “Hyah? Okay, listen to me Hyah; I have three important tasks for you that are vital for the kingdom’s well being. I need you to obtain the Butter Knife of Time, which you can find in the temple of time, which happens to be conveniently located right behind my castle. Here is the key for opening the door.” And he tossed the key at Lynk, who, like last time, stood blankly and got smacked in the face by a 30 pound key, knocking out 3 teeth. He landed on the ground with an audible thud, and then rose again, not really bothering to pick up the key.
“Yeah… well, you also need to go get the Sword of Masters which is in the temple over yonder.” He pointed out a window to his left, and there stood the Temple of Masters. Link took a glance, then turned his head back and resumed his blank stare that was devoid of all intelligence. “And lastly, I need you to go steal the Won Ring, which is in Volcano Doom. That will be revealed to you once you draw the Sword of Masters. Now go, and when you return with those three items, I shall give you the hand of my daughter.” Lynk, now knowing his task, took the key and stuck it in his pocket, which has a mysterious power to hold three thousand arrows, thirty three boulders, three million masks, and countless other items.
Lynk then embarked upon his journey to the Temple of Time. After walking 3 kilometers he arrived at the door of the temple. He took out his the 30 pound key and after three mighty turns, he opened up the door and ventured into the unknown dungeon that lay before him.
In the temple Lynk did three hundred and thirty three traps and puzzles all relating to time. This took around thirty hours for Lynk. After this long trip through the depths and dangers of the temple’s traps, he found the treasure he desired. He ran up and grabbed the glowing butter knife and immediately a three-headed-nun fell from the ceiling and took a swing at Lynk with one of her three meter sticks. Lynk actually dodged this attack and sliced the beast with the butter knife, which made the monster scream in pain. It screamed for three whole deafening minutes before it breathed a wave of flaming Bibles at the youth.
Lynk did a barrel roll, jumped upon a column and then made a leap for one of the creature’s faces. He managed to jump up where he tossed his hands into the air and dived down with the butter knife straight through the monster’s neck, and then he cleaved through the other two necks.
After this exhausting endeavor, a heart inside a crystal contained spewed forth from the monster’s remains. Lynk promptly consumed it, and he grew another heart inside of his body which previously had only 3 hearts. You see, Lynk’s special power is the ability to make any blow only deal damage to his hearts inside his body. The only exception is his teeth, for some strange reason he can lose his teeth and his hearts won’t take any damage.
Lynk emerged victorious from his first temple, and he continued onto the second challenge. He arrived at the Temple of Masters after thirty three minutes of walking in zigzags towards the temple. Why he did this, no one knows for sure. Lynk has a really bad habit of making trips last thirty times longer than they should. Upon arriving at the Temple of Masters, he found himself in the hardest puzzle of his life. He pushed and pushed on the door, pulled levers,  jumped across rivers, fought several life threatening monsters, but it was all to no effect for he couldn’t get the door open. That was until; he realized that the sign on the door read “Pull to open”. He pulled open the door, and he found the Sword of Masters sitting in a stone 30 feet ahead of him.
Lynk ran over and pulled it out in three fierce tugs, and the sword was forced out of the stone and into his hands. Just as this happened, a freakish beast spawned from the rock that had the sword in it. A beast unlike the world had seen before emerged from this rock with an audible “Ueh, hey little boy, want to come ride roller coasters with me?” Of all the creatures to be spawned, Micheal Jacksun had arrived at the scene. Lynk, as always, just stood there with his blank expression of stupidity. He then took the Sword of Masters and chopped off the nose of the abomination, which caused its untimely death. Lynk ate that beast’s heart as well.
Lynk then walked out of the temple and a volcano came into being 3 feet west of the Temple of Masters. The lad walked up the volcano, and after arriving at the summit, he found the Won Ring in the middle of several platforms that were floating in the lava. Lynk pressed a switch on the dagger of time, resulting in a slow down of time and he hopped from one platform to another and successfully reached the middle where the ring was laying. He reached for it and grabbed it, and as soon as he grabbed it, a colossal fire elemental spewed forth from the lava. The God of Fire then challenged him to combat for the possession of the ring.
Then the voice that sent Lynk on this quest beckoned from the clouds “Lynk put on the ring! It will unlock your power and purpose as the chosen one! Do it!” Lynk did as he was told, and he slipped the ring onto his finger, and then a terrible transformation did ensue. He hunched over and a shell started to grow from his back. His left arm shrunk and was absorbed into his body, while his other arm grew into the form of a giant claw. He started to mutate and grow until he was over 300 feet tall. He had transformed into Igork the Impaler, a massive hermit crab of epic legends. Then Lynk fought the God of fire for three years, destroying the volcano and much of Hirule’s land. Eventually Lynk got his massive claw around the head of the Fire God and crushed its skull. Lynk then started to transform back, this time into a fifteen year-old, and he grew much taller, but unfortunately, not much brighter. He still had a dull expression devoid of intellect, and he hurried off to the throne room.
Upon reaching the throne room, King W. Bush recognized the lad and called him forth to present the items that Lynk had been questing for. Lynk gave the items to King W. Bush and then Bush exclaimed “Finally! I have finished my set of Silverware of Time! And I finally got a mint condition of the Sword of Masters! And I can add this ring to my collection. Great job Hyah. I’m off to sell this stuff on EBay.” Lynk stood there, unknowing that he had just been sent off to run errands. “Oh yes, before I forget, here is the Hand of my Daughter.” King W. Bush then lobbed an iron imprint of his daughter’s hand towards Lynk. It landed at Lynk’s feet, where Lynk stuck it in his pocket and headed off to sell it on EBay. He ended up selling the imprint for several million Rubies, and he lived a life of ignorant happiness.

THE END.
Yeah, I had to write a fairy tale in class, and here it is.
© 2006 - 2024 pdoughnut
Comments3
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Spike-the-echidna's avatar
rofl! interesting fairy tale. you seem to have enjoyed the use of the number three alot in it.